- Don’t call me cute when I’m mad…..
- Can you mute people in real life….
- Even a prison sentence is less painful than a Monday…..
- Too tired to give a rat’s ass…..
- My phone can’t swim – or so it tried…..
- Money runs away from me – and I run away to the mall…..
- My brain switches on only after I’ve had my coffee…..
- God really made me during one of his creative periods…..
- My life is a joke…..
- This life is a joke…..