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- Never laugh at your wife’s choices.You are one of them…..
- Funny by nature, funny by default…..
- I can’t remember what I said 5 minutes ago…..
- Sorry about the drunken texts. My phone was hammered…..
- If a bird hits your windshield, is it angry birds….
- I have a plastic bag full of plastic bags at home…..
- I try working out everyday but pancakes are just too delicious…..
- Will sell my soul for waffles…..
- My parents are like Google. They interrupt before I can complete a sentence…..
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